ME: Depression.
Hi assalammualaikum.
Depression.
So recent news is kematian salah seorang idol kpop, Sulli f(x) has spreaded out and main cause is depression. Siapa yang sangka? Seorang gadis dengan baby face, cute maknae, selalu ketawa sebenarnya seorang yang banyak simpan, seorang yang banyak hadapi semua benda pahit seorang-seorang, and now she couldnt stand it anymore. May other world cheerish you more 😊
TO BE SAVED HERE FOR FUTURE LESSON,
I once had that short phase of so-called-mild-depression. Yes. I reached that point where i felt everybody is hating me so much, everything i do might have caused them to judge me, I felt s so disturbed even when im doing nothing and this continued for months, in this degree during my 1st year.
I had that phase where i always cried almost everyday. It even worst whenever i woke up early in morning, i would always cry so much that my eyes turned sore - but when my friends asked me bout that, i answered that i couldnt sleep and was having late study. I checked the symptoms and i had almost of them ticked.
Few years back,
I had that kind of heartbroken phase for months turning into years and i couldnt really fully accept it, and i kept it alone and thot that i would eventually managed it.
But, I was wrong.
Until one day,
I said "this is wrong."
I really need someone. So, i whatsapp-ed my friend and said to her "aku tak boleh. i need you..."
from A-Z, i told her every single thing that has been distracted me so much. I cried so hard but silently, my tears didnt stop flowing, my eyes were swollen, headache attacked and i had blurry vision.
I took a nap.
Woke up to lots of spam,, asking me one precious question -
"Habis tu kau ok tak? Kau memang tak ok tyy. Aku tahu"
One advice that I hold on to, even until today
"Kau solat, kau minta kat Allah supaya buang semua sakit kau, buang semua perasaan yang ada, minta kat Allah datangkan kat kau orang-orang yang jauh lebih baik. Cari kawan-kawan kat sana, cerita kat diorang, you gotta really find somebody untuk dengar luahan kau"
I try ikut cakap dia.
I whatsapp-ed my another friend here in medic, called him over, and having all stories be told. Dia terkejut, dia nampak aku nangis, & he was speechless.
Also since tht moment, i would nvr miss asking Allah to get rid all those feelings that have caused me trapped in darkness.
Hari hari. Setiap solat, setiap kali free time, setiap kali rasa sedih, setiap kali rasa down, doa je benda tu yang sama.
I never expect it could be this worst.
NOW THAT I DONT EVEN REALIZE THE EXACT TIME WHEN I REALLY HAS FULLY ACCEPT THE FATE.
Because now, I'm totally different.
Tiba-tiba je, rasa macam baru dilahirkan.
I feel like i just gain a new life, with lots of new people coming into my life, making me forget about past.
Dia, saya maafkan and i dont want to look back.
Now, I am free, i start exercising, i feel more energetic, i feel like i dont need to control myself anymore, i feel that i have lots of commitments, lots of friends, now i am more brave to socialize and be confident to myself like -
i dont care what people judging me, i know myself more than u guys
Because of that,
whenever i know that my friends in trouble, it seems that i dont care but deep inside
I pray that they can face it as strong as i was.
I pray that they could be like me.
I pray that those 'black yet suffering' phase will be over and let go of them.
I pray that my friends could be so much bearable because they have Allah. Allah would never hurt them and I'm holding on Allah.
Apa-apa masalah, cari orang untuk bercerita. You really need someone.
Teguhkan hati, yakin pada Allah.
Allah tak jawab sekarang, nanti Dia jawab - in most prettiest way.
love, tyy
Depression.
So recent news is kematian salah seorang idol kpop, Sulli f(x) has spreaded out and main cause is depression. Siapa yang sangka? Seorang gadis dengan baby face, cute maknae, selalu ketawa sebenarnya seorang yang banyak simpan, seorang yang banyak hadapi semua benda pahit seorang-seorang, and now she couldnt stand it anymore. May other world cheerish you more 😊
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| -pininterest |
I once had that short phase of so-called-mild-depression. Yes. I reached that point where i felt everybody is hating me so much, everything i do might have caused them to judge me, I felt s so disturbed even when im doing nothing and this continued for months, in this degree during my 1st year.
I had that phase where i always cried almost everyday. It even worst whenever i woke up early in morning, i would always cry so much that my eyes turned sore - but when my friends asked me bout that, i answered that i couldnt sleep and was having late study. I checked the symptoms and i had almost of them ticked.
 |
| Ministry of Health "Kemurungan" booklet |
Few years back,
I had that kind of heartbroken phase for months turning into years and i couldnt really fully accept it, and i kept it alone and thot that i would eventually managed it.
But, I was wrong.
Until one day,
I said "this is wrong."
I really need someone. So, i whatsapp-ed my friend and said to her "aku tak boleh. i need you..."
from A-Z, i told her every single thing that has been distracted me so much. I cried so hard but silently, my tears didnt stop flowing, my eyes were swollen, headache attacked and i had blurry vision.
I took a nap.
Woke up to lots of spam,, asking me one precious question -
"Habis tu kau ok tak? Kau memang tak ok tyy. Aku tahu"
One advice that I hold on to, even until today
"Kau solat, kau minta kat Allah supaya buang semua sakit kau, buang semua perasaan yang ada, minta kat Allah datangkan kat kau orang-orang yang jauh lebih baik. Cari kawan-kawan kat sana, cerita kat diorang, you gotta really find somebody untuk dengar luahan kau"
I try ikut cakap dia.
I whatsapp-ed my another friend here in medic, called him over, and having all stories be told. Dia terkejut, dia nampak aku nangis, & he was speechless.
Also since tht moment, i would nvr miss asking Allah to get rid all those feelings that have caused me trapped in darkness.
Hari hari. Setiap solat, setiap kali free time, setiap kali rasa sedih, setiap kali rasa down, doa je benda tu yang sama.
I never expect it could be this worst.
NOW THAT I DONT EVEN REALIZE THE EXACT TIME WHEN I REALLY HAS FULLY ACCEPT THE FATE.
 |
| Jambatan Darul Hana @ Kuching Waterfront |
Because now, I'm totally different.
Tiba-tiba je, rasa macam baru dilahirkan.
I feel like i just gain a new life, with lots of new people coming into my life, making me forget about past.
Dia, saya maafkan and i dont want to look back.
Now, I am free, i start exercising, i feel more energetic, i feel like i dont need to control myself anymore, i feel that i have lots of commitments, lots of friends, now i am more brave to socialize and be confident to myself like -
i dont care what people judging me, i know myself more than u guys
Because of that,
whenever i know that my friends in trouble, it seems that i dont care but deep inside
I pray that they can face it as strong as i was.
I pray that they could be like me.
I pray that those 'black yet suffering' phase will be over and let go of them.
I pray that my friends could be so much bearable because they have Allah. Allah would never hurt them and I'm holding on Allah.
You know, when people come into your life for a very short time, you will start to argue about it and blaming fate. BUT, what you dont know is, those people you dont want to let go are actually those who hurt you the most. They dont know you put them the highest, so they treat you as you are lowest.
It's either, they come as lesson or memories. Or both. Just get new life! You deserve more than this 💅💗
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| random |
Teguhkan hati, yakin pada Allah.
Allah tak jawab sekarang, nanti Dia jawab - in most prettiest way.
love, tyy
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